Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Are you going to play all out, or hardly play at all?
You know what I mean. That state where you are totally committed to what you are doing, regardless of the obstacles in your path. One of my clients lives this way. Let me tell you about him.
Richard Villasana used to have a business called http://www.mexicophonebooks.com/ where he sold phone books for those looking for relatives in Mexico. This is his area of expertise, and he was trying to find ways to create more of that business. I met him when I worked as a coach for Christian Mickelsen's Small Biz U (www.smallbizu.com). There we staffed a coaching hotline and Richard called in EVERY DAY to work with one of the coaches, getting advice to grow and move his business forward. He was fearless and determined to create this business and wasn't afraid to ask for the help he needed.
Through the coaching, Richard did what most of my clients do....find ways to expand his business to be something he loves doing, and to create more income! He went from just targeting libraries to targeting genealogists and eventually business owners who want to break into the Mexico market, but don't know have the connections in that country.
Working with Richard was great fun, because he was constantly tweaking and willing to think outside the box with what was possible. He went from delivering a low cost product (phone books) to expanding his service offerings where he started a "Find someone in Mexico" service that he could pay others to do while he made the profit.
Richard also is a wonderfully gregarious man who desired to do public speaking. Initially he was able to find 'gigs' with the libraries or the genealogists, but it was mostly free work. Richard got clear that his goal was to begin to grow his business, get paid to speak, and have fun doing it.
He was well on the path to creating all of this, and guess what happened? He got run over! For reals. He was helping two elderly women who's vehicle had stopped on a freeway in San Diego. While he was in front of their car, another car hit that one, and the womans' Pathfinder ran over him. The doctors said he was lucky to be alive, much less even be able to walk.
Now, talk about having a detour to your plans!
Richards attitude? Nothing but optimistic. He turned "lemons into lemonade" as they say, and during his convalescence, he wrote "The Insider's Guide to Doing Business in Mexico" and has revamped his business so it's now www.MarketingtoMexico.com. In addition to building his business helping people tap into the Mexico market, he's also a public speaker. That business is called www.TheMexicoGuru.com. I'm thinking that the story about being a good Samaritan and getting run over should make an awesome keynote!
What's Richard's secret? It's the way he looks at his situation. Here are his four tips for creating a winning mindset when things around you seem to fall apart:
1. Accept where you are. How many times have you lost something, felt 'cheated' by life, or just plain didn't understand how this could be happening to you? Instead of feeling like a victim, Richard decided to make the best of what he has. Today, if he walks around for an hour, he may have to stay in bed a couple of days, but he's grateful that he can walk at all. Acceptance is the key. Of course there is the whole grief/loss psychological process that you may need to go through, but make sure your goal is to accept whatever life brings. For more inspiration around this idea of accepting where you are, I would encourage you to look at the work of Byron Katie, who's website is www.TheWork.com. She's a wonderfully gifted teacher in "Loving What Is."
2. Begin to face your new life and decide, "I'm going to overcome." Don't give up. Richard tells of how so many people he met in rehab were just resigned to their situation and became helpless and depressed. Have an unstoppable attitude. Think of Nelson Mandela. One of my personal inspirations, because while he was locked away for 27 years, he always had hope. He shared that the first few years he was depressed and miserable, but then he decided that while they could incarcerate his body, he would not let them imprison his mind. He took control, stopped suffering, and every day imagined the time when his country would be free.
3. Make a new goal. Ok, so things are different....but what else can you still do. The secret to living fully is in having a purpose. You may have lost some things, but where else can you play big! Who else can you help or support. You have to find a new meaning and a compelling reason to use your talents.
4. Look for the gifts. Yes, there are gifts to be found, even in the most painful or challenging situations. If you have this mindset, you will then give your loss/frustration a different meaning and it will be easier to navigate through it. Richards gift was the gift of time. Sitting in the hospital allowed him to come up with even more ideas to grow his business. He focused on this and decided to take advantage of what was in front of him. I know from Richard's experience, many lives will be touched. I know mine has.....
Hey Richard, thanks for being such an inspiration!
Take care,
Therese Skelly
602-369-0091
